It has been a strange two weeks. At moments things seem normal and then, POW, a memory hits and the sadness returns. I am missing Jordan and Pax. Yet Zaz, Itzy and Zen all live in the moment and honestly you cannot be very sad around Itzy. She has the fun gene and can cheer anyone up.
We had a big scare last week as Zaz became ill and had to stay for two days at the vets. My Lord, there is nothing that reminds you how important these little dogs are then when they get sick. I won't go into details but I am just so grateful that Zaz is here and still making my heart sing with her unique personality. Bizarrely, I almost felt guilty that Zaz took up all my emotions last week; as if those worries about Zaz took away from my mourning for Pax and Jordan. I know that sounds strange...I also had conflicted emotions about who I felt sadder about losing which is also weird. Gosh what we can put ourselves through just in our own little brains.
I am feeling much better this weekend. I prayed that this week would be a fairly normal straight forward week with no tragedies. And so far, so good! I am optimistic that we are due some good fortune.
I know that scattering ashes could sound like a sad thing but actually it is very cathartic. It is an ending yet also a beginning of our new different life without those two special souls. Today we took Pax and Jordan's ashes up to Bignor Hill. We scattered them in the same place that we scattered the ashes of Noel, Joy and Hex.
The rock where we took such great photos of Pax and Jordan is now gone. It is replaced by a memorial plinth that still bears the saying "And you shall wake, grown young with perfect sleep" on the back. Itz, Zen and Zaz now have their own photos at this special place.
Crufts is coming up next week followed soon by the IFCS World Championships. Zen and I are glad to be back playing together. We are at Crufts only one day this year and will competing in the British Open on Thursday. Zen and I did not compete much last year so I am really pleased to have qualified for the British Open. And actually one day at Crufts for Zen is just perfect! We are so psyched; we can't wait! And finally I get to stick around for two more days and actually support other people rather than worrying about Zen. There are alot of shelties to cheer on and that requires my full concentration. Last year Crufts was not fun for me and very much a blur. I am really looking forward to being there this year both as a competitor and a supporter. I am also being a bit of a turn-coat as my main support will be for Denmark on Saturday as Johanna and Soda compete in International Freestyle! yay!
Zaz and Itzy both continue to be a joy in our lives. Zaz has been in season so Itzy got to take her agility classes this week. Lucky Itzy had THREE classes of agility this week and by her last class on Wednesday afternoon she was exhausted! It has been great to focus on her for a change as she often gets the short straw in training. She may be a little behind in her training but she will catch up and surprise us all.
Dennis came with us to our Tuesday night class at Nandy's so he could see his little Itz train. I am really glad he took some video as I have been very lax about videoing any training lately.
Here's Itzy!
God she is so cute!
7 comments:
Dennis little Itzy?????? MY little Itzy ;o)
You guys looks awesome! I hope you have a better week, things sure have been tough for you lately. It must have been very scary with Zaz getting sick and bringing up thoughts that were unthinkable. Im so glad Zaz is better. Good luck with crufts and the british open. You are an awesome trainer, enjoy your success!! Diana
Life does go on. Ready or not. I loved your tributes to your two girls. I'm sure lots of tears were shed making them. I'm sure there are still big holes in your house and heart where they were. But, they lived their full and best lives. Slowly things will get to the new normal and your three gorgeous, and young, tri girls will continue to thrill you.
Have fun with your trio of tris! I'm looking forward to reading about their future successes!
Jo Ann
Hello !
I wish you now happy time for the whole rest of the year.
Good to hear that Zaz is now doing well now.
Even yet it is a pleasure to watch your video from Itzy.
Hope to see you with Zen in Germany at the WC.
Best regards !
Margit
Glad to hear Zaz is OK and hope the rest of the year settles down for you - you've certainly had more than your fair share of drama so far!
Itzy is adorable - she kind of bounces like Raven. Must be a small dog thing :).
I'm just catching up on your blog. I'm sorry for your loss.
Itzy is looking great :)
I really love the saying on the stone memorial, what a touching beautiful poem. My brother too was able to bring closure when he scattered some of Daisy's ashes along his garden patio and the rest are in the urn in his home so that Daisy will always remain with him...
Little Itzy is running so beautifully. I can now tell her own little style, after watching Zaz and Itzy throughout their growing years, I'm sure all their devotees can now tell them apart even at a long distance and with the fuzziness of videos, you can tell they've got their own special style and are not so much twins any more. Little Itzy will remain little Itzy to me. She is the most petite and so endearing! what a sweetheart! If anything I think she's got a bit of Jordan magic in her in terms of her lovely nature.
Bernadette, I am very glad that Zaz is better, but I suspect it must have been a very serious thing because even as of now it is too hard for you to talk about. So all we can do is give our bestest of hugs and hope day by day you can live for the moment just as your beloved pups do! We will all be thinking of you during Crufts and little Zaz and Itzy will be doing their pup cheers for you!
Love, Serena
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